Growing up I didn’t always have the best relationship with my dad. Early on we clashed – a lot. I’m sure there are a multitude of reasons for that but none are important for this article. At some point there was a switch (maybe he remembers when?) but I couldn’t tell you the exact point when that was.

What I can tell you is that at some point in high school dad became Pop which eventually evolved into Richie. He became someone I trusted not someone I clashed with. He also became the person that I always knew that I could call, no matter what, without judgment. 

Richie has always been good at pointing out how insane something seemed to an outsider. Not to mention presenting the options in a situation or just listening when I needed to vent. But most importantly he has always just been there for me no matter what.  

There are a number of relevant stories that come to mind but I’ll just share a couple. 

Cheeba Cheeb

First was my freshman year in college. I was out at Kent State University in Ohio. I wouldn’t say I was a regular smoker of the sweet cheeba but I sure did enjoy it. I went out with a couple “buddies” I would occasionally smoke with – one of them said he found a new place to smoke just up the road. On the way there a cop pulled up on us and I ended up getting hit with Possession of Marijuana and Paraphernalia.

The next morning, I needed to make a call – one that I didn’t want to make – to Richie. I didn’t really know what to do but was also very upset that I was disappointing my dad. Looking back on the call it went exactly as I should have expected it to. He wasn’t happy to hear about what happened but I knew he wasn’t going to kill me.

That day he dropped what he was doing and drove from NJ to Kent, Ohio. He wanted to see me and talk with me about what happened but mostly just be there for me. He didn’t offer to get me a lawyer or figure it out for me but he was there for me to talk through it all and support me in the journey. I ended up with a misdemeanor on my record and lost my license (even though we were walking) for 6 months. 

Cars Don’t Float

Another standout event happened when I was home from college on break. While it might be surprising today – I used to spend hours in the gym and always at night. One night Richie got home from work on the later side and had blocked my car in. I was ready to go the gym and asked if I could take his car – as per the usual he said, “Of course.”

That night there were heavy rains and on my way to the gym, there was some ponding happening but by no means any flooding on West Broad Street (a throughway that connected two towns). However, by the time I was on my way back, the situation had changed. Apparently West Broad had a low point that was now flooded AND the street lights were out in this area (I’m not making this up). The newly formed lake that I didn’t see – took me by surprise.

I jammed the brakes only to realize my mistake and quickly shifted to the gas but by that point I was in too deep. In pressing the gas at that point, I flooded the engine which stalled the car and left me sitting in this pond with the water continuing to rise.

My first call was to Richie – even though I had an, “Oh fuck, he’s not going to be happy about this.” When Niel and Richie arrived – I crawled through the window of the car to exit as the water was too high for me to open the door. While he wasn’t thrilled that his newer car was now totaled – he was ultimately only concerned that I was safe.

Niel Memory Insert: I answered the phone while sitting there eating dinner with the Richard. As Tyler told me what happened, it must have been written VERY clearly all over my face. Because the father knew, before I hung up the phone, that there was an impending SNAFU.

It has been interactions, like this, over the years that have made it easy for me to call Richie whenever I’m challenged by something. Or need to vent, or if I’m in some type of trouble leaving me unsure where to turn. He has never made me feel like, “Oh shit, my dad is going to kill me.” By no means are these the only stories – Richie has been and will be one of the first people I call when things go awry. 

That’s my baseline – that is the type of dad that I want to be. I want my kids to trust me to know that they can come to me with anything – that I’m their first call.